Humour Section


More...

Frisbie

Balls

Dogs

Lightsound

MacD

Machine

Mental

PoleDance

sickAnimals

Sucked_Off

toilet

 

'If the enemy is in range, so are you.'

- Infantry Journal-


'It is generally inadvisable to eject directly over the area you just bombed.'

- US.Air Force Manual -

 

'Whoever said the pen is mightier than the sword, obviously never encountered automatic weapons.'

- General MacArthur -

 

'Tracers work both ways..'

- Army Ordnance Manual-

 

'Five second fuses last about three seconds.'

- Infantry Journal -

 

'Any ship can be a minesweeper. Once.'

- Naval Ops Manual -

 

'Never tell the Platoon Sergeant you have nothing to do.'

- Unknown Infantry Recruit-

 

'If you see a bomb technician running, try to keep up to him.'

- Infantry Journal-

 

'Yea, Though I Fly Through the Valley of the Shadow of Death, I Shall Fear No Evil. For I am at 50,000 Feet and Climbing.'

- Sign over SR71 Wing Ops-

 

'You've never been lost until you've been lost at Mach 3.'

- Paul F. Crickmore (SR71 test pilot)-

 

'The only time you have too much fuel is when you're on fire.'

-Unknown Author-

 

'If the wings are traveling faster than the fuselage it has to be a helicopter -- and therefore, unsafe.'

- Fixed Wing Pilot-

 

'When one engine fails on a twin-engine airplane, you always have enough power left to get you to the scene of the crash.'

-Multi-Engine Training Manual-

 

'Without ammunition, the Air Force is just an expensive flying club.'

-Unknown Author-

 

'If you hear me yell;"Eject, Eject, Eject!", the last two will be echos.'

If you stop to ask "Why?", you'll be talking to yourself, because by then you'll be the pilot.'

-Pre-flight Briefing from a Canadian F104 Pilot-

 

'What is the similarity between air traffic controllers and pilots?

If a pilot screws up, the pilot dies; but If ATC screws up, .... the pilot dies.'

-Sign over Control Tower Door-

 

'Never trade luck for skill.'

-Author Unknown-

 

The three most common expressions (or famous last words) in military aviation are:'Did you feel that?' 'What's that noise?' and'Oh S...!'

-Authors Unknown-

 

'Airspeed, altitude and brains. Two are always needed to successfully complete the flight.'

-Basic Flight Training Manual-

 

'Flying the airplane is more important than radioing your plight to a person on the ground incapable of understanding or doing anything about it.'

- Emergency Checklist-

 

'The Piper Cub is the safest airplane in the world; it can just barely kill you.'

- Attributed to Max Stanley ( Northrop test pilot) -

 

'There is no reason to fly through a thunderstorm in peacetime.'

-Sign over Squadron Ops Desk at Davis-Montham AFB , AZ-

 

'You know that your landing gear is up and locked when it takes full power to taxi to the terminal.'

- Lead-in Fighter Training Manual

 

As the test pilot climbs out of the experimental aircraft, having torn off the wings and tail in the crash landing, the crash truck arrives. The rescuer sees the bloodied pilot and asks,'What happened?'

The pilot's reply: 'I don't know, I just got here myself!

 

 

To be able to post a comment you need to register and log in. If you are already registered then please log in.
We welcome your feedback!

Buy this space

Online last 30min

None

Login & Register




Visitors

Today: 36
Yesterday: 550
Last Week: 3579
This Month: 6173
Last Month: 3963
Total: 172017


Find us on Facebook

Latest Article Comments

  • A RIDDLE...
    Took me 24 hrs to figure it out, my best mate, (I`ve known him for 35 yrs), took 4 mins......I was g... More...
    08.05.12 15:58
    By Anthony Boyce Combe
  • KHA vs KHS 6TH FORM QUIZ 2012
    It says 'in memory' of Peter Johansen... 3 questions, (if anyone could help, please)... When was he ... More...
    30.03.12 01:13
    By Anthony Boyce Combe
  • Mr Pat Gilmore
    Some nice thoughts and images are running through my mind as I remember Mr Gilmore. Was there ever a... More...
    16.03.12 10:49
    By David Bacon
  • Mr Pat Gilmore
    So sad to hear this news. I remember Mr Gilmore so well and although neither history or French were ... More...
    02.03.12 19:49
    By Andy James Taylor Dauncey
 Latest Forum Topics
Old Boy Search 13-02-2012 13:11:51 sel1979
French Rugby Tour..... 06-02-2012 16:23:43 me4
re: Publication of book In Search Of Sara Ann 24-10-2011 08:02:54 Gareth
Re:Greenwich House 19-05-2011 16:58:04 alastair.lee

Donate Any Amount Here

We appreciate you may wish to donate more than the price of a coffee, so please use the button below to do so.

Thank you!

Friends Online

Powered by EvNix