Lieutenant Commander Anthony John Marfleet RN. (Retired) died in October 2009 after a long and debilitating illness. Tony, who was in Plymouth and Norwich Houses, had a distinguished career in the Royal Navy followed by a second career managing a book shop specialising in religious publications. He was much loved by all who knew him. We have an extended obituary and biography with tributes delivered at the service to celebrate his life
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Lieutenant Commander
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Tributes to Tony delivered at the service to celebrate his life
Tony is equally remembered as a first class sportsman by all those who knew him. He was a very good Rugby player, who graced the schools 1st. XV in the 1961-62 season.
One player from that team remembers him as a resilient 'India rubber' scrum-half, likewise also when playing as a wing three-quarter. Tony was also an excellent swimmer, and made the school's Swimming VIII. We see him in the 1962 photo. The breast stroke and the ‘Plunge' were his speciality events in the school team.
This was not the summit of his sporting prowess. Another boy from Tony's Norwich days recalls:
"I knew Tony Marfleet very well. He was captain of the gymnastics team (of which I was a member) when we won the inter-house gymnastics competition in 1961. He and I designed the assault course in the woods behind Severn house, which we also built and were the first to try out”.
In his last year (1963) Anthony John Marfleet became head prefect of Kingham Hill School. We have photo of him seated next to Teddie Cooper in the prefect's photo archive of that year. A recent tribute was paid to Tony by the previous year's head of school who, remembering Tony well, recalled:
"Certainly he was a very committed Christian at school, and as such had a much higher standard of behaviour than most of us!!”.
In the summer of 1963, Anthony left our school having gained a place at the Royal Naval College, Dartmouth. He was also awarded a degree in Marine Engineering at the Royal Naval Engineering College at Manadon. He retired from the Royal Navy holding the rank of Lieutenant Commander. You can read more about Tony's service history in the tributes below. It is worth noting here though that Jennie (his widow) remarked in a telephone conversation to his foster brother, who was preparing Anthony's Eulogy :
"he changed from being quite an arrogant young Naval Officer into one of the nicest men you could ever meet".
Jennie blessed Tony with four children: Janine, Carys, Annabelle, and Johnathon - all of whom were with Tony at the end, and who have all "done their parents proud" in their lives.
On retiring from the Royal Navy, Tony went on to manage a bookshop specialising in Religious publications. He was devoted to his faith, family and friends, and to the wider community who always took precedence to the end. The way he led his life owes as much to his upbringing, both at home and at school, as it did to his own attitude to life and the service of others.
A mark of the respect that people held for Tony was that over four hundred people attended the thanksgiving service held in Anthony's memory.
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The following tributes/eulogies were delivered by family and close friends at the service for the celebration of Tony's life
Tribute
Tony joined the Navy as a cadet at Dartmouth in September 1962. The values he had learnt at home and at School, namely a clear appreciation of right and wrong and a strong sense of duty were drummed into all the cadets at Dartmouth. To these were added the disciplines of physical fitness through exercise, and impeccable smartness in appearance. To some these disciplines were a struggle, but not to Tony, he readily embraced all of them and these values became lifetime habits.
In 1963 he went to sea as a Midshipman in HMS 'Kent', which was a 7,000 ton destroyer, armed with missiles as well as guns. From the mid-60s to the mid-70s the Royal Navy played a crucial role in maintaining the peace, as the British Empire was transformed into the Commonwealth of independent nations. In 1948 1 million people had died in the transfer of power in India and the Government determined that this should not be repeated. At this time independence was beckoning in South East Asia and HMS 'Kent' was dispatched as part of the fleet to deter Indonesia from grabbing the 3 colonies situated in Borneo. Many times in this confrontation the ship went to action stations with guns ready to fire and missiles ready to launch, but deterrence was sufficient and a smooth handover of power took place. HMS 'Kent' acted as one of the midwives in the safe birth of the new State of Malaysia. The ship's company, including Tony, all received medals for their courage. During that commission HMS 'Kent' also spent time in 'showing the flag', which took the ship through the Panama Canal to the west coast of north and south America. What an adventure for Tony as a young midshipman!
KHS Kent
Tony then went to the Royal Naval Engineering College in Plymouth where he gained an honours degree in Mechanical Engineering. During this 4 years two wonderful things occurred! First of all his Christian faith grew by leaps and bounds, as he became, in the words of the Bible: 'a man in Christ'. And, secondly, he fell in love with Jennie!
Having chosen to become an air engineer, in 1972 Tony was appointed to 767 'Phantom' Squadron at Yeovilton. Tony and Jennie moved to their first home in the Yeovil area, a move that, providentially, gave direction to the rest of their lives. After 6 months in the MoD in Whitehall and 6 months at the Royal Naval College, Greenwich, Tony was appointed to the Naval Recruiting office in Birkenhead. This covered recruiting in the whole of the North of England and Northern Ireland. Once again for Jennie it was a question of 'pack and follow', and she and little Nina moved to be with Tony in Birkenhead. During their time together there, Carys was born. I had an artificer join my ship who had worked for Tony in Birkenhead and he told me what a wonderful boss he was - decisive, fair, energetic & with a great sense of humour. Northern Ireland was at the height of the troubles then but recruiting still went on, involving many visits to the Province and anxious days and nights for Jennie whilst he was away. Tony was awarded the Northern Ireland medal.
His next job in 1974 was the pinnacle of his Naval career. He joined '818' Helicopter Squadron. This was based at Prestwick in Scotland when disembarked but on board HMS 'Hermes' when embarked. The helicopters, or in Naval parlance, 'choppers', were Tony's pride and joy. His whole aim was to keep them air-worthy, ready to fly. In February 1974 and again in February 1975 HMS 'Hermes' went to Norway for the 'choppers' to support the Royal Marines in their exercises north of the Arctic Circle. Operating the aircraft in extreme low temperatures was another huge challenge for Tony and his team. All his professional training stood him in good stead as Engineer
Officer of this Squadron.
Towards the end of this commission, the news came of 2 grievous deaths in the family - Mr. Hodges (Tony's adopted Dad), followed very shortly afterwards by Jennie's mother. After much agonising prayer with Jennie, Tony took the, brave decision to resign his commission prematurely, in order to support the whole family. He had no future plan - but God had.
Tribute
I remember a friend commenting, 'He is very strong for a small man!' This was on the occasion that Tony chopped down a large willow tree which was threatening to overrun our small garden. I have a vivid memory of Tony up in the tree sawing and chopping with a huge smile on his face! Looking around today I know that everyone of you will have special memories of Tony - he was a person who always had time for others and made each one of us feel special. I feel honoured to be able to share a few of my memories of Tony during his time as the 'Bookseller'.
Moving to Yeovil with a baby of three weeks old, twenty nine years ago, was a daunting experience. However we did not need to worry because very quickly we were scooped up and embraced by Tony and the family. We have so many happy memories of times spent at Castlegate House and then the Park, sharing in the life of the family. As Rachel's Godparents and as wonderful friends our lives have been entwined ever since, and we are the richer for it. He was Rachel's Uncle Toto!
Anyone who ever walked into the bookshops will know that Tony would immediately greet you with warm words and encouragement. He had the knack of making you feel that you were the one person he was looking forward to meeting that day.
Tony loved being the centre of the community in his role in the shop. He always wanted to know everything that was going on and really enjoyed sharing the new information with others. However he was never negative about people and he always saw the best in everyone. Tony had such a positive attitude which was infectious. He always encouraged others and if you were doing anything he would be advising and helping and telling you what a great job you were doing. This positive attitude never left Tony and he bore his illness in the same uncomplaining manner. No wonder everyone who met him adored him.
Tony was so proud of his family and I remember very well the time that Annabel was playing the lead role in Oliver at Primary School. We arrived at the school to watch the performance, and there was Tony at the door welcoming everyone in and showing people to their seats. Those who did not know who Tony was before were left in no doubt that the father of the principal character was hosting the show. I am not sure where the Headteacher was but he was certainly not needed! Tony's natural outgoing personality was such a gift and it made every occasion into something special.
Of course Tony's pride was well founded as Annie is the most brilliant actor and performer. Tony enjoyed performing on the stage too, although the time that he was in the W.S. Gilbert & Arthur Sullivan's Operetta, Iolanthe, Tony played a leading role in that performance as Strephon (the Arcadian Shepherd boy). The huge hairy sideboards that he grew were a sight to behold! He certainly threw himself into every project with exuberance and enthusiasm. He was such fun!
Tony loved hosting events, whether it was Sunday lunch, a party or just a bowl of soup at home. The Marfleet's home has always been a place of love, warmth and happiness
