Meerondonk on Cue - John Cooke, Bradford 1970-1975.

I wonder how many will recall the early 70's in Bradford after prep in the Meerendonk days? There wasn't a great deal of time before the younger boys were packed off to bed, but there was usually time for a quick game of billiards.

Mr Meerendonk

The common room then was dominated by an elderly billiard table with just about enough room to get round desks arranged around the rest of the room. There was only one problem! Legend had it that Mr Meerendonk, or "Donk" as he was affectionately known, once played billiards for the army. Whether this was true or not I can't ever remember anyone confirming. It was just one of those legends that grew up in Bradford at the time.

Whatever the truth of it, "Donk's" sitting room was next to the common room, and if he was in there when prep finished he inevitably heard the balls clacking no matter how quietly you tried to set up a game. This prompted a gentle nudging open of the door as he came in and stood next to you as you were about to take a shot. Like most 14-15 year olds billiards is a serious business and concentration is all. You were blithely ignorant of his presence, unlike everybody else in the room. The first you knew of him being there was after that very careful shot failed to produce a pocket and he would tap you on the head with a "Silly arse, what kind of a shot was that?". It didn't matter how old you were or even if you were a brilliant player, some time everybody came in for the "Silly arse" routine. You never knew quite whether to answer him or not, he would stand there sagely looking on not speaking until a shot was fluffed, then out it would come. It was ideal if you were on the other side of the table to him as he never walked round it, just stood near the door which made it difficult if you had to play the ball within striking distance of him. Concentration! No chance! You try potting a billiard ball sometime knowing that, if you fail, your reward will be a smack on the head and a "Silly arse". Great days ......... I wish sometimes that I could go back and relive them even if only to show "Donk" that my game hasn't improved at all in forty years. I bet he would still say it.

John Cooke. Bradford 1970-1975.